AXEL
by MAUVE-NOVA
Summary: Even though time heals most wounds, it never lets you forget about the scars and how they got there. Yuuri and Victor are two people that went through a lot and almost lost hope and the real reason to keep going at some point in their lives. After years of healing, They finally give love a chance and learn that maybe not all fights are meant to be fought alone.
1. Yuuri's tragedy

Rain poured outside as he was a crying mess in the mess of his room. He didn't know what to do or how to get out of his head. All he could think of was the life he had inside of him conceived by what he now remembered as a that dark blur in his memory he desperately wanted to forget.

"Honey, are you ok? You haven't come out of your room in 2 days."

"I'm ok mom, just a bit sick to my stomach." he brought his hands to his tummy.

"I made you some katsudon, your favorite."

He reached higher for his stomach and felt it growl, "I'm not hungry, mom." he heard some steps walk away and that's when he started crying again. It had been 2 days since he found out he was pregnant and fuck was he confused.

Why him? Why now? He was just a high school kid at the wrong place in the wrong time when it all happened. The moment he got home he told his childhood friend, Yuko, and she told his parents. Mom and Dad had been nothing more than supportive and caring. They cried with him, held him and promised to help him get through this, but Yuuri was terrified of telling them that their 15 year old boy was having a child from a random stranger that raped him just 4 weeks ago.

His parents had a few psychologists come over to talk to him since the incident and didn't talk about it until Yuuri felt like bringing it up. He had also stopped going to school and his mind couldn't be a greater mess. It all had happened so fast he thought it had been a nightmare. He wished he could just wake up, but he couldn't escape. This was his reality

Every time his eyes closed he could even feel that man's touch, that man's tongue in his mouth and him penetrating his body. He could see his face, he could smell that putrid breath as if it was still in him. On him. He felt disgusted with his own body for being contaminated by this man's seed. He felt violated. Used and thrown out like some piece of gum.

His once untouched body was forcefully claimed by a man walking by, and he hated himself for it. Not even a million baths could take away how repulsively disgusted he was at his own body. Not even the sweetest smelling soap could take off that rotten smell from him. Not even his love for katsudon could make him eat. Nothing could make him want to keep living this life.

He wanted to just die but there was something holding him back. What about this person inside of him? This everlasting reminder that he had been contaminated.

He laid down in bed and felt his stomach where he saw a fading dark spot and put his hand over it.

"You don't deserve this." his eyes filled with tears as he rubbed his abdomen.

He stared at the results of the lab tests, the second time he'd been asked so much questions in a hospital since it all happened. The first time was when his parents insisted in taking him and getting enough evidence to get to the bastard that dared to touch their son.

He was tired of crying, and took a deep breath. The tears wouldn't stop flowing out of his eyes but he still laid flat on his back and thought of what to do.

He knew that this life growing inside of him had not decided to be there itself, he knew it wasn't it's fault but he just couldn't bring himself to give it up. It wasn't its fault why would he have to pay for it?

He then looked at his stomach again and saw the dark spot. He then thought about himself. Not being able to go to school, having to give up his education to raise a child, what society would think, how the baby would not have a father, how much this creature's presence would haunt him, mark him and take away from him. He had to get rid of if and start again.

How would he tell his parents? His friends? How would he be able to live like this for the rest of his life?

He flinched when he heard the door open, It was Yuko. "Yuuri?" she walked in with a bowl of katsudon in her hands. "Your mom told me you haven't eaten anything besides snacks in days."

He wiped his tears and wrapped himself in a blanket, "no, i'm good. I just..I'm not that hungry."

The girl put the bowl down and sat by Yuri's side, "listen, If you want to stay home for some time that's totally okay, but please eat something."

Yuri felt a tear leave his eye and dried it before it reached his chin, "thanks, Yuko. you can leave it there. I'll eat later."

Yuko knew he was in pain, it was more than evident with the way he was looking at everything but her face during the whole encounter. "you look like you need some rest." She got up and picked up some shirts from the floor, "I'll fix your room and maybe even clean a little."

Yuuri remembered the location of the papers and his eyes widened as he got up and saw that the papers were not in his bed anymore. Yuko's eyes widened and a tear rolled down her cheek, "Yuuri..."

He sat back down and his swollen eyes filled with tears again, "please don't tell anybody." he whispered.

She put the papers down and turned to Yuuri who hung his head down in shame and cried. Yuko ran to him and hesitated but went ahead and hugged him, "you're not alone, you hear me? You have a family that loves you and a best friend that will always be here for you."

"Is there anything I can do for you?" Yuko asked as she let go of her friend.

"Can you..help me with something?" his voice cracked.

"Yeah. of course anything."

He wiped his tears and stood straight, "I gonna need you to help me with this baby."

"You're keeping it?"

"It wasn't mine or his fault, we're both victims and..." Yuuri stopped and almost went back on his decision when Yuko took his hand and looked at him in the eye.

"I respect your decision and I will be the best aunty that baby can ever have. Ok?"

Yuuri nodded and for the first time in weeks, he smiled back.


	2. Victor's Tragedy

"Come on buddy." Viktor rubbed his son's back as the five year old boy cried in a corner next to his mother's corpse.

"Mama..Mama." the devastated boy cried as his father tried to be strong for him.

"Look at me." he raised his son's head and wiped the boy's tears, "we both love mommy a lot and I know how hard it is to say goodbye, but now she's in a better place. She can walk freely, she can breathe without that tank she carried around, she sing like she used to and I bet she even has long blonde hair like she used to before she got sick. So don't cry, you might not see her but she'll always be here to protect you."

The boy held his father tightly and tried to stop the tears from coming out. "Why? Why did she leave us?"

Victor tried to believe what had just come out of his mouth but he too was devastated after losing the only woman he had ever loved, "I don't know. But god decided it was the right time and god's time is always perfect. Even if you can't see her she's your guardian angel now. If you close your eyes really tight you might even feel her." from the other side of the room Mila and Christophe watched father and son tightly embrace each other and pulling through this.

Chris was Victor's cousin and also model for the same brand. As soon as he found out about the death of Victor's wife, he took the first flight from switzerland to . Mila on the other hand was the deceased's sister. It broke her heart to know Viktor was widowed and Yuri had lost his mother, but she had to be there for them.

All dressed in black and about to exit the funeral home, Viktor kept telling his son how proud he was at the level of maturity Yuri had treated the situation with. Chris too the ashes when Mila came back from taking a look outside and nodding her head to signify that there was a crowd outside. Viktor fixed his boy's shirt and gave him a coat to cover himself with, "when we go outside, cover your face and as much a you can of your body. When we get to the car they'll be gone. Ok?" Yuri nodded, his eyes still puffy from crying. "Let's go home."

"Victor!"

"Can you answer some questions?"

"What was her illness?"

"Victor!"

"Will you talk to the press about this?"

"Best wishes to your family."

"Victor!"

Everything went silent when they closed the door of the car. Viktor wanted to just bring her back, give his own life if necessary but he had no idea of how to raise a child on his own. He knew Yuri needed him more than ever but he didn't know what to do. The ride back home was drowned in silence and the every time less audible sobs from the boy were getting weaker as he fell asleep on his father's lap. Viktor cried without realizing it, his face was wet, his nose was red and his composure a mess. He wanted to jump out of that car and just disappear to wherever she was but, he had a son holding him back from ending it all right then and there. His blessing and curse was this boy he now had to raise on his own.

The car stopped.

Mila picked Yuri up and took him upstairs while victor and Chris stayed outside. Chris took Viktor's face and buried it in his shoulder, "Let it out."

Victor immediately let out a cry of grief and a painful tear rolled out of his eye, "she's gone." he said between loud cries.

"Cry it out now before you have your son seeing you like this."

"I can't. I just can't live without her. How am I gonna raise a child? How am I gonna sleep if she's not there? How?" Victor sat in the ground and pulled from his long grey hair. "Why me? why her?"

The sound of the wind mixed with the sound of tears falling out of his dimmed blue eyes. The ones of a man that had just lost it all.

"I'll be upstairs. Mila and I'll be staying the night."

Victor walked up and down empty streets, not wise of him to walk out without a coat and roam streets with no destination but he just lost it. He wanted to drink till sunrise, but who would be there to comfort Yuri in the morning? He wanted to not deal with his acke in his heart, but again that boy at home calling him papa was the only thing keeping him alive.

That night was a long one. While Mila and Chris slept with Yuri, Victor listened to the tapes his wife left him before she passed away.

"hey, Viv. Hope you're doing well, but knowing you, you're not. By the time you listen to this I'll be gone and that's why I want to thank you in advance. You've been the best husband in the world and you made my dream of becoming a mother more than a reality. Thank you for being next to me in the good, bad, wealth and misfortune." she was heard starting to sob in the tape. "I love you Victor but…..you have to move on-" when he heard the sobs of his wife he took out the tape and smashed it on the floor.

He didn't want to cry anymore, he didn't want these tears, he didn't want to hear it, the vodka wasn't working and it all burned so bad. He almost felt as of he deserved it.

He rolled into a ball and cried another bitter tear, "Yuratchka."


	3. 10 years later

"Phichit, Can you come help me with these boxes."

"Coming!" the now teenager came running out of his room. "I'm sorry mom, it took me some time to unpack."

Yuuri couldn't be happier to have such a wonderful son. Shorter than him, caramel mocha skin complexion, thick hair and nothing like Yuuri physically wise, but all of that didn't once represent a problem for his mom. loved his son more than he loved himself. Phichit was now 15 and had successfully convinced his mother to move to a new country. He knew how much bad memories brought to Yuuri to live in the same place, around the same people and in the same atmosphere all the time. He couldn't quite tell what was it that made his mother overprotective and overall stressed all the time, but he wanted to fix it. Maybe a change of location could do the trick.

Yuuri was 30 and still single, he just didn't feel like being with anybody in that way. His sex life was nonexistent and all he could live for was his son. It had always been them two. Phichit more than once asked for his father and was always given a worried look followed by a bunch of questions that led nowhere. As he grew up he knew better than to ask too much; something told him it was better if he didn't know.

Mother and son opened boxes and took out some of the things shipped to their new 2 room apartment In the big city. It wasn't much since they made sure to only bring the essentials.

"Mom, really? This picture?" Phichit took out a picture of him walking for the first time, naked and holding onto a table.

"Yes." Yuuri smiled.

"This is so embarrassing." he laughed and took out more baby pictures.

"I thought of maybe hanging them up."

"mom!"

"Honey." Yuuri smiled and looked at his son in the eye, "i love you, and I am so happy to have you in my life. you will always be my baby, don't forget that."

"You won't say the same when you get a boyfriend." Phichit laughed and his mom's jaw dropped at the sass he was getting. Of course it was all just play and games. The doorbell rang and Yuuri went to get it as Phichit finished unpacking.

He opened the door to see a tall, platinum haired man dressed in black with what seemed a teenager by his side, "hello?"

"Hey, we're the neighbors next door. I'm Victor, he's Yuri."

The kid behind Victor was kind of short and the only pop of color in his outfit was an animal patterned jacket. "Hi." he rolled his eyes and looked back at his phone.

"Mom, what do you want on the pizz-... hello?"

"If you guys are ordering pizza why not coming over to our place for dinner and-"

"Sorry but we're kind of tired right now." Yuuri almost closed the door.

"Then another day will be. Anything you need, we're next door so.."

Yuri rolled his eyes and pulled his father by the arm, "Ugh just come." Yuuri finally closed the door and went back inside.

"Those two guys seemed nice." Victor sat in the couch.

Yuri narrowed his eyes and looked back at his father, "what's up with you? Inviting random people into our house."

Victor got up and hugged his son from behind, "why are you always angry at me?"

"I'm not angry, now get off you old hag."

Victor let go of his son and walked away, "I raised you alone at the best of my capacity for more than 10 years, and you yell at me like that when all I wanted was a hug."

Yuri sighed and let go of his attitude to hug his father, "thanks...dad."

Victor smiled and kissed his son's head. Looking at him in the face he said, "I love you."

"There you go again."

"I really do."

Yuri walked towards his room, "do whatever you want, I'm out."

Victor sat back in the sofa, "oh Yura, how do i raise a teenager?"


End file.
